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One of the tricks to rebuilding love after broken trust is to find out if there’s still enough love or enough desire to want to rebuild the relationship in a new way. Most of the time when trust has been broken, one or both people want to hold on to their hurt, their agony, their pain and want to make the other person pay for what they’ve done. While this may make you feel good (or somewhat “safe and protected”)in the moment, it certainly won’t help you rebuild the love and the relationship after broken trust. He realized that he had to take some time and find out what he wanted–whether he truly wanted to be with Andrea and rebuild their love or whether he wanted to continue living like he’d been living.

Have you ever been in a relationship or marriage where things started off great and then one day you wake up and realize that it’s gone stale? Most people wake up one day and realize their relationship isn’t what they want and it isn’t what it used to be… You have to care for the garden by watering, pruning and paying attention to the flowers you want to grow if you want your it to become more beautiful. It just takes letting go of old ways that haven’t worked in the past and seeing something new in the other person and in your relationship.

It’s the fact that you’re stuck in a loop of thinking that is seeing the relationship and your connection stale, boring, uninteresting, lifeless and in many cases, loveless. The truth is that any relationship can go through a “stale” phase, where one or both people are tired of doing the same things together (or apart), having the same conversations (or none at all) or the same way of making love (or having no intimacy at all). When this happens, it’s tempting to blame the other person but it always comes down to where the stale feeling is coming from–and that’s inside you. You’re having “negative” thoughts that you’re repeating on a regular basis, making them real and living from those thoughts that you’re calling reality.

They realized had they each had continued their feeling of not feeling equal by sarcastic remarks about the other. Instead of continuing to pick each other apart, they learned to allow themselves to come into the present moment and remember why they loved each other instead of why they didn’t get along. Paula agreed that she probably didn’t have to give her kids so much money and Rod admitted that their financial situation wasn’t equal and he was willing to contribute more. Not feeling like an equal in a relationship can come in all shapes and sizes.