almostamazinggrace.co.uk

I cry when people get through to the next stage on a TV talent show, even if I don’t particularly like them or their performance. I’m finally reading Adam Kay’s ‘ My idea of treating myself is paying to park in a multi storey, rather than leaving the car on a residential road a long walk from work like I usually do, because it’s free. I was on 5 News last week, talking about Project #SHOWUS.

So not long after I got the idea for this story, I was reading book after book written by people who’d spent time in mental institutions and hospitals. Memoirs like Marya Hornbacher’s ' by Lori Schiller and Amanda Bennett and the YA classic ' by Joanne Greenberg (and so many more books and articles! ) were invaluable to me. Some of the books I read were stories of people who’d been institutionalized or hospitalized for very different reasons than Hannah, and but at others, to feel safe and secure under a doctor’s care; the struggle to come to terms with a surprising diagnosis; the certainty that the doctors and therapists can’t help you—

Every morning I check the latter, and have to delete approximately 47689 emails from shops I haven’t bought from in 2 years, venues I haven’t been to in 3 years, and airlines I haven’t booked with in 5 years (sorry, Norwegian). Yeah, glad we got there – in pretty much every blog post I write about mental health, writing and travelling, but it’s so goddamn Screen Time app that alerts you at the end of each week with stats, try to cut down so that every time the notification pops up it says something like 'down 40%'. It's the silliest thing, but it's so satisfying beating your record and at the same time detoxing your life just a lil bit.

Our bags were checked by a very bemused fellow, who didn’t seem sure why exactly he was having to do this strange task, and then our names were ticked off the guest list (no ticket pick up necessary! ) by a cheery gal in tight trousers and peacock feather print braces. The audience participation was super fun, and while at times it was a bit of a muddle being separated from our present day as groups of us were pulled off to various secret rooms, it was very effective and unlike anything I’d experienced before. When the tiniest group of us (3 men, 4 women, I believe) were taken up a short set of stairs into Daisy Buchanan’s bedroom, where she and her treacherous but fiercely protective husband discussed what they were to do about the tragic accident she’d caused with Gatsby. Also, the way Jay Gatsby had looked at Daisy when he first saw her, earlier in the performance (and the comic relief Nick provided, drinking his tea awkwardly between them).