Miriam Kamin

It’s also, to quote the MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL TREATING THE PATIENT IN QUESTION, “Just about impossible to get insurance to pay for it because it’s expensive. The doc does say that if this doesn’t work, or if the blood-pressure-raising med works as it should but the Beta blockers don’t lower her heart rate (which is apparently a thing that sometimes happens), THEN we may have grounds to appeal the insurance to cover the SINGLE med which doesn’t mess with your blood pressure at all, which is arguably safer all around. So she called the doctor’s office, and then came back to tell me that the office is claiming they called and were told they didn’t need one. Listen, I shouldn’t complain, because it’s not like this particular bill is for $16k like the other one, but when the SECOND bill arrived yesterday, this time covered in YOUR PAYMENT IS PAST DUE language, I was Not Pleased.

No matter how long a person with depression deals with depression, one common feature of said depression (how many times can I say depression in this sentence, do you suppose? ) is the inability to IDENTIFY said depression at critical junctures. But then, of course, through a combination of my body adjusting to my new environs (yes, there’s more sunlight here, but still less in the winter) and the drought ending (here, have 60 consecutive days of rain this winter! ), it wasn’t long before this part of the calendar once again came to represent more bad days than good. Do I mostly just counsel myself that February sucks, February sucks, FEBRUARY SUCKS, IT WILL BE BETTER SOON, and white-knuckle my way into March, wherein sometimes things improve, but sometimes they don’t; and then if they don’t, I have a day where I end up sending a text to my husband that is both so hopeless and nasty that he immediately calls me and I answer the phone with, “ I am super-stoked about that because although my loooooong, curly/frizzy rapidly-graying locks fit right in with the whole “aging hippie” vibe around these parts, I’m pretty sure I have worn my hair in a messy bun for about 90-something days in a row because UGH MY HAIR IS IN MY MOUTH

"Maybe all we can hope to do is end up with the right regrets. " Hello! I know, I started writing weekly(ish) again and then I didn’t write last week, disappointing my legions of fans (read: my father)

"Maybe all we can hope to do is end up with the right regrets. " You’re gonna be so sorry you asked OH WELL I HOPE YOU HAVE SOME TIME TO SPEND! Pull up a chair! Grab a cup of tea, and maybe a few benzodiazepines