Aileen Quinn

It is taking my whole mind and day up, and I can’t imagine the pain it is causing to many black people who will be scrolling through their timelines seeing more white people take issue with the term “racist” being levelled at Neeson than with, you know, the actual racism. His retelling of his disturbing, racist anecdote on live TV, accompanied by the words “I’m not racist” betrays at best a misunderstanding of what racism is and, at worst, a disregard for the trauma his recent revelations are causing black people to relive. It could lead to white people listening to the fact that, just as women live their lives in fear of rape, black people live their lives in fear of racist violence (black women, of course, fear both). But, even if we were to take race out of it (which we can’t and shouldn’t) that kind of sustained impulse for randomised violence is not some ‘natural’, masculine instinct to protect – it is a product of the patriarchal and white supremacist paradigms that have shaped Neeson’s subconscious mind (and mine, and yours).

*trigger warning* babies and labour and mental health and all that shit When I got pregnant I didn’t have to worry about the cost of antenatal care. When my baby was 12 days late I didn’t have to think about how much being induced would cost. When I pushed and pushed but he couldn’t come out, when his head (on the 98th percentile in circumference, I later discovered, wince) was stuck in the wrong position, when they weren’t sure if his heart was faltering, neither me or my worried husband had to think about money once. When my contractions slowed to stopping and they offered me a choice between an injection to get them going again or being moved to theatre for spinal anaesthetic and forceps procedure (I know, gag, soz) cost wasn’t a factor in my decision.

It’s not you, it’s me. Well maybe ‘Netflix and duvets and leftover Christmas chocolate’ is our ‘Netflix and chill’; you and I do know how to plough through a box set. Oh we don’t have to start on New Year’s Day Look, it’s just a fling, you know he’s my rebound guy;

Contrary to popular commentary, I think we’re getting okay about talking about ‘mental health’. Like, how we should talk about our feelings and listen to/make time for others, and all the things we can do to help keep ourselves mentally healthy, from exercise to mindfulness. Everyone is comfortable so long as you talk about mental illness in the past tense. ‘I wake up every morning with an almost paralysing fear of the day head pressing down on me’.