Colleen Werner

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I’m a ballet dancer, author, and Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling student at Trevecca Nazarene University. I recovered from anorexia nervosa and live with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I aspire to create an eating disorder treatment program for dancers.

Member Since NOVEMBER 08, 2019
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Highlights

Been loving this trend — so here are some things I’ve been struggling with 🤍⁣ ⁣ I don’t love the parts of this trend that have said “social media is fake” because while there are DEFINITELY parts of social media that are undoubtedly fake, there are also many folks keeping it real — which shouldn’t be discounted.⁣ ⁣ If your life also doesn’t look like a highlight reel right now, you’re not alone 🤍⁣ ⁣ Outfit in the first photo is linked in my profile 💖

Pupdates from yesterday’s episode of Therapy with Zen™️⁣ ⁣ 🐾 Very curiously and sweetly sniffed a client’s feet during EMDR and they said it made it better 🥹⁣ 🐾 Made friends with several of my coworker’s clients ⁣ 🐾 Started licking a client when he RARELY gives anyone kisses — which means he really likes them which made them so happy to hear 😭⁣ 🐾 Sniffed one of our intern’s hair for the entirety of supervision⁣ 🐾 During a Brainspotting session he also stared at the pointer 🤓⁣ ⁣ It’s been so sweet getting to bring Zen to the office and having my clients love him as much as I do — he may not be trained as a therapy dog, but he sure does his best 🥹⁣ ⁣ ⁣Enjoy these pics of Zen at the office over the past few weeks 🤩⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #therapysession #therapistlife #therapyiscool #yorkiemom #seniordogsrule #traumatherapy #therapist #therapistsofinstagram #nashvilletherapist #yorkiesofinstagram #nashvilledogs #dogsofnashville

There are officially only 6 months until @fullmetalsean and I get married 🥹⁣ ⁣ Here are the planning things we’ve checked off in the past few weeks:⁣ ⁣ ✨ Secured our vendor for rentals (tables/chairs/dance floor)⁣ ✨ Secured our month of coordinator ⁣ ✨ FINALLY found the right colors/brand for bridesmaids/MOH dresses⁣ ✨ Set the date for my bridal shower⁣ ✨ Picked our first dance song ⁣ ✨ Created our wedding website and registry⁣ ✨ Sent invitations (if you got a save the date but haven’t gotten the formal invite yet, please LMK!)⁣ ⁣ We don’t have too many things left to check off our list which is a huge relief 😅⁣ ⁣ What questions do you have about our wedding/wedding planning process? 👰🏻‍♀️⁣ ⁣ Photo: @jasminebrookephotography⁣ Nail color: @pleasing Live Laugh Lilac ⁣ ⁣ ⁣PS: If you’re a brand who wants to collab in the process, please DM me!⁣ ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #2024bride #weddingideas #weddinginspiration #bridetobe #bridaltrends #sandiegowedding #weddingplanning #socalwedding #weddinginspo #sandiegoweddings #engaged #californiawedding #realbride

For most of my life, I viewed my stretch marks as something to be ashamed of or something to try to get rid of.⁣ ⁣ I’d be lying if I said that those thoughts never come up, but today, as I saw the sunlight catching them, I realized how beautiful they can be — how they sparkled and almost look like tree branches, symbolizing the growth and change that created them.⁣ ⁣ The next time you find yourself judging your stretch marks or see someone trying to sell you some BS product to get rid of them, remind yourself that stretch marks are a natural (and, even beautiful) part of life — not something to be ashamed of 🩷⁣ ⁣ ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #bodyconfidence #bodyacceptance #normalizenormalbodies #stretchmarks #allbodiesaregoodbodies #bodyneutrality #bodyliberation

St. Patrick’s Day throwback from 2017 taken by @cmrfx ☘️⁣ ⁣ Haven’t had pointe shoes on in over a year and I think it may be time to put them on again — missing moments and shoots like this 🥹⁣ ⁣ Pointe shoes: @gaynorminden⁣ ⁣ ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #balletpost #worldwideballet #pointeshoes #gaynorminden #gaynorgirls #balletlovers #gaynormindenpointeshoes

With so many milestones/transitions this year, I’ve been reflecting on all of the different versions of me that have existed.⁣ ⁣ I like to think of it like different chapters in the book of my life.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of toddler me wearing a pool coverup, a tutu, arm puffs, tiara, and ballet shoes using the guard rail of my bed as a barre.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of kindergarten me writing tons of “books” thanks to a teacher who fostered my creativity.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of elementary school me who would read countless books.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of 10 year old me who started dieting for the first time.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of middle school me who was desperate for a boy to like me and latched onto him being nice and interpreted it as him liking me back — even though that glaringly wasn’t the case (iykyk 😅).⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of high school me who spent all of my time outside of school dancing, sat alone at lunch junior year, was entrenched in an eating disorder that took up all of my brain space, and experienced trauma that no one should ever have to.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of 18 year old me, sitting on a bench with a boy in Madison Square Park, talking for hours, head over heels (even though we were only ever a “situationship” and 2 weeks later he ghosted).⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of 19 year old me who started this page and started ED recovery.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of 20 year old me who went viral and started navigating being a public figure.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of 21 year old me who got out of a toxic relationship, had a major speaking engagement, had more trauma, and met Sean, all in the same year.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of 22 year old me who moved to Nashville and started grad school.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of 23 year old me who saw her first therapy client.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of 24 year old me who navigated debilitating chronic illness.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been thinking of current (27 year old) me, and all of the other versions before and in between.⁣ ⁣ It’s beautiful and wild to think about all of the chapters of me that have existed and will continue to be written over time — here’s to holding space for all of them, especially in this season of change ✨

Seeing @madidiaz last night was beyond words — she performs with such emotion and passion, and her music just resonates with me so deeply.⁣ ⁣ Thank you Madi for your music and for such an incredible night ✨⁣

*insert TikTok sound* I LOVE MITCH ROWLAND…I LOOOOVEEEE MITCH ROWLAND!!!⁣ ⁣ @mitchrowland was incredible last night at @eastsidebowl — and getting to be SO close was amazing. Nothing beats small, intimate venues 🥹⁣ ⁣ So grateful that my love for Harry introduced me to the massive talent that is Mitch Rowland ✨⁣ ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #mitchrowland #comejune #nashville #nashvillemusic #harrie #harries #harrystyles #tpwk

The small wins in eating disorder recovery often quickly get forgotten, but they can be some of the most impactful ones.⁣ ⁣ As a kid, I always loved having both butter and jelly on my toast. My eating disorder eventually told me no toast, then eventually toast but nothing on it, then toast but only butter OR jelly but not both...and if I had either of those things, they HAD to be measured and be the smallest amount possible.⁣ ⁣ Back in 2018, after one of my relapses, I started working with an amazing dietitian.⁣ Before working with her, I had worked with a dietitian who claimed to specialize in EDs but actually reinforced my ED by telling me that I should avoid certain foods, even⁣ though they were my safe foods and I wasn’t allergic to them.⁣ ⁣ The dietitian I started seeing in 2018 TRULY specialized in eating disorders, and I saw her weekly for many months. We worked a lot on challenging fear foods, with one of those challenges being having toast with both butter and jelly (and adequate amounts of both).⁣ ⁣ The challenge was terrifying, but once l actually was eating, it felt like freedom. I was able to enjoy something I loved eating as a child. I repeatedly challenged the fear, until it was no longer scary anymore.⁣ ⁣ Today, I made toast with my breakfast and added both butter and jelly without a second thought. In that moment, l remembered the first time I challenged the fear, and was filled with overwhelming gratitude for the work I’ve put in recovery and the providers who have supported me along the way.⁣ ⁣ Being able to put both butter and jelly on toast may seem insignificant, but, for me, it signifies how beautiful recovery can be. How you can go from being terrified of a food that you once loved to being able to enjoy it without any fear. Recovery is still an active choice I make everyday AND I’m so grateful to be in a place where it’s truly instinctive and largely comes without a second thought. Recovery is possible.⁣ ⁣ ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoverywarrior #edrecovery #recoveryispossible #fearfood #recoveryjourney #nourishnotpunish #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin

I no longer identify with the term “fully recovered” and haven’t for a few years.⁣ ⁣ For a bit in my ED recovery journey, I aspired to, and felt like I achieved, “full recovery.”⁣ ⁣ For me, that looked like having zero ED behaviors, thoughts, and urges — still had body image struggles, but nothing ED connected.⁣ ⁣ And then, I had some thoughts, and even urges, creep in. I felt like a failure and panicked that I was relapsing…even though I wasn’t.⁣ ⁣ As someone who had identified publicly as recovered and as an ED therapist, I felt like a failure and like something was wrong with me. But, I was just having a normal human experience, amplified by pervasive diet culture messaging and my other mental health struggles.⁣ ⁣ Of course, it was valuable info that I didn’t ignore — I was aware of intentionally choosing recovery but didn’t hyper focus on it.⁣ ⁣ While I certainly can’t speak for everyone and can only speak on my experiences, I feel like in the ED recovery community, there’s a lot of pressure to get to “fully recovered” and to be free of all thoughts and urges. That’s not to say that’s not possible, and that’s not to say that if you identify as recovered, there’s something wrong with that. AND I think that this idea that we have to strive to be free from every remnant of the ED can hold people back in recovery and can, in some ways, lead to more chances of relapse if you get complacent/assume the ED will never come back. ⁣ ⁣ I largely am free from ED thoughts and urges, but they do pop up at times. I haven’t engaged in ED behaviors in quite some time — but I do struggle with food in terms of sensory difficulties and appetite/internal cues as a result of being auDHD. I prefer to use the term “strong recovery” over “recovered.”⁣ ⁣ If you identify as fully recovered, there’s nothing wrong with that! AND I think thinking about recovery in a black and white way or as an “endpoint” often isn’t attainable/realistic, especially in a world where recovery in general is highly inaccessible. If you don’t identify as fully recovered, I see you, and your recovery is just as valid as anyone else ✨⁣ ⁣ #edaw #edawarenessweek #recoveryispossible #edrecovery #edawareness

So lucky to love and be loved by @fullmetalsean 💖⁣ ⁣ We’ve been through the ringer together — when we started dating, I was in possibly the worst mental health space I had ever been in. Just out of an ED relapse, debilitating PTSD symptoms, SI nearly every night…things were rough.⁣ ⁣ And he loved me through every moment.⁣ ⁣ Relationships aren’t always 50/50 — we’ve both had spans of time where the other person had to put far more effort and support in — and I’m so grateful that after tons of work, we’re both in a season where we’re able to have a mutually fairly balanced relationship.⁣ ⁣ We got together when I was 21 and he was almost 23, so we’ve really grown up together, which is pretty cool.⁣ ⁣ 219 days until I become Mrs. Conklin, and I can’t wait for our fairytale day 🥹🫶🏻⁣ ⁣ First photo: @jasminebrookephotography

The List of Things by @emmakmillerrrr review 💗🎀🏈🩷💐⁣ ⁣ Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⁣ ⁣ SO. GOOD:⁣ ⁣ What I loved:⁣ ⁣ 💖 Black cat/golden retriever trope is everything⁣ 💖 The sex-positivity and feminist lens is *chefs kiss* 🤌🏻⁣ 💖 The transition from fake dating to real dating as a result of the character development. Kamryn said she’d never date but Bellamy changed that 🥺⁣ 💖 How Bellamy was so supportive of her list from the start and didn’t view it as silly — him freaking out when Lawson touched it had my heart so happy ⁣ 💖 The friendship bonds with all of the characters were so wholesome⁣ 💖 So. Spicy. 🥵⁣ ⁣ Fave quotes:⁣ ⁣ ✨ “I realize there’s so much intimacy in feeling safe in someone else’s energy… and that’s what I feel with him. It’s an underrated feeling.”⁣ ✨ “I’d search for you at midnight.”⁣ ✨ “Stop downplaying the way you feel to make everyone else feel comfortable around you.”⁣ ✨ “You’re the kind of person people write romance books about. Don’t accept less than that.”⁣ ✨ “Kamryn is my happy ending. She has been since the very first date.”⁣ ⁣ Such a fun, cute read — and I’ve had the joy of being a beta reader for the second book in the series, The Pros and Cons of Us which will be coming out in April and y’all will be OBSESSED with that too.⁣ ⁣ Def recommend giving TLOT a read ✨⁣ ⁣ ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #romancebooks #bookrecommendations #currentlyreading #romancereads #currentread #bookstagrammer #bookstagram #amreading

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