Tiffany Paltauf

I know you’re always with us Bella baby. ☁️🪽👼 #babyloss #infantloss #lifeafterloss #stillborn #stillbirth #grief #griefjourney #lossmom #lifeafterloss

When I first found out I was pregnant with Bella I was a little bit anxious about loss but to be honest, I never thought something terrible would happen to me. Until it did. The truth is, nobody prepares for baby loss— but as I’ve gone through over six months with my daughter in heaven, I’ve learned you never “get over it”. You don’t “get better”, some days almost feel harder sometimes. I can’t explain it. Once you go through baby-loss people treat you differently and you’re expected to go on with your life when it feels like your life was taken from you. It feels impossible to move on, because you can’t. And that’s OK. It’s OK to be not be OK. Remember that. And remember you’re not alone. #stillbirth #stillborn #babyloss #infantloss #pregnancyloss #oneinfour #stillbornbutstillloved #stillbornbutstillborn #stillbirthawareness #itsoktonotbeok #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #loss #lifeafterloss

Life lately 🫶🥹 #photodump #life #grief #lossmom #lifeafterloss

No parent should ever have to hold their baby and know that their child will never grow up to run a farm animal sanctuary or become the president, or save the world. No parent should ever watch their baby turn purple over hours of time because they’re passing away. No parent should ever have to plan and visualize their future with their baby and have that all taken away from them. No parent should ever be asked “do you want a cremation or a burial?” No parent should ever have their babies urn in their home. No parent should ever cry themselves to sleep every night screaming “why us? Why our Bella?” No parent should have to cuddle a weighted bear that weighs the exact weight that their baby weighed. This has been the most difficult experience of @spfpigman and is life. A piece of us has been taken away, and I know all we can do is honor our sweet Bella Ingrid until we meet her again ♥️ @bellasforeverfoundation ♥️🪽☁️ #stillborn #stillbornbutstillloved #stillbornawareness #stillbirth #stillbirthprevention #stillbirthawareness #bella #babyloss #grief #griefjourney #loss #lifeafterloss

The sky looks different when you have family up there, we had a random snowstorm and then out of nowhere the sun peaked out. I just know our baby Bella sent that, I miss and love her so much. ☁️🪽🥹 #babyloss #infantloss #stillborn #stillbirth #stillbornawareness #stillbornbutstillborn #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefawareness #trauma #inlove #marriage #love

Time moves by extremely slow yet incredibly fast when you’re grieving a child. I’m confused as to how it is already March, it feels like just yesterday I was rushed to the hospital in labor and we were told our daughter Bella didn’t have a heartbeat. But that was six months ago, but how?? How could that be? How is it already spring? How did winter go by so fast..? Things just don’t make sense. All around me others are having living babies, getting pregnant with no problem, adding to their human families— but I’m just here. Grieving my babygirl and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she still isn’t here. That she won’t hear the birds chirp every morning, won’t ever meet the rescued animals, won’t say “hi mommy” or “hi daddy”. I just don’t fucking understand it. Why was our precious babygirl taken away from us? We will never know. But we will continue on each and everyday in her honor, and I know she’s watching from up above and I know she’s so proud of her mama and daddy for surviving each day. This pain is so real. I’ve never experienced such constant aching and sadness, I miss our babygirl. If you’re going through loss just know you’re not alone and that over time it doesn’t get easier you just learn how to manage your grief better. ♥️ #babyloss #loss #infantloss #stillborn #stillbirth #stillbornstillloved #stillbirthawareness #grief #griefjourney #bereavedparents

We finally were able to have a day off from the sanctuary! @familiarofawitch said it best in one of her most recent posts.. it’s IMPORTANT to have a day off once in a while or as much as you can when running a farm animal sanctuary. We sacrifice so much by running @sleepypigfarm and a day off every once in a while is so needed. Having just half a day off gave us the rest and break that we needed and we woke up this morning with new ideas and plans on how to improve the sanctuary— it makes us BETTER animal caregivers. It does. Feeling extremely grateful for our volunteers and staff that allows us to have half a day off from running the sanctuary. Because you truly can’t do this work alone, you just cannot. ANYWAYS, we spent the day in NYC and went to a @nyrangers game with family! It was so much fun. ♥️ #nyrangers #nyc #rescue #sanctuary #fyp

I finally had the bravery to look at some photos taken from the day that our daughter Bella Ingrid was born asleep and I’m glad I did, even though it was extremely painful. I can’t believe our family photos look like this. I wish so badly my daughter was alive and that I could see her beautiful smiling face today, but instead I’m looking at photos like this. Life is devastating and different and nothing that I ever imagined. I’m in more pain than I ever truly imagined possible, but I’m surviving and I live everyday as best as I could in honor of my daughter. When you lose a baby, your life changes. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. I miss my baby every waking moment of everyday. #stillborn #babyloss #loss #stillbirth #infantloss #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefawareness #lifeafterloss

Grief is constant. I’ve learned throughout the past 5 months how to carry my grief. I’ll be on my way to a meeting and cry my eyes out and then hold it together at a meeting and then get in the truck and instantly bawl. It’s challenging and I’ve learned so much since this experience, I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve never felt more sad in my entire life, I’ve never felt such a lack of trust in my body in my entire life, and I’ve never missed another being more in my entire life. I miss and love our daughter Bella more and more as time goes on, as time goes on I’m reminded of how old she would be, what she would do, everything. And it’s a pain I would never wish on my worst enemy. Rest in peace my sweet daughter, I’ll live my life honoring you. #stillborn #grief #griefjourney #grieving #stillbirth #pregnancyloss #lifeafterloss #babyloss #stillbornawareness

Missing you every day baby Bella, I’m grateful to see you in my dreams every now and again. I’ll constantly ask myself why you were taken from us. I’ll never understand why you couldn’t be with us. 💔☁️🪽 #stillborn #stillbornbutstillloved #stillbirth #stillbirthprevention #loss #lossmomintroductions #lossmomclub #worstgirlgangever #ttcrainbowbaby #babyloss #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefawareness

Me and my best friends 🫶 🤍 sweater rented from @nuuly ☁️ #animals #rescue #animalsofinstagram